Several thoughts went through my mind but I did think that, after the rough treatment I got from the demonstration, I deserved something for it. But others didn’t think so; especially Miss Carol.“Draw again!” she demanded, shouting at the warden, causing others to repeat it.“What the fuck?” I exclaimed, “Fuck that!” I protested, getting angry, “You need to shut the fuck up!”The warden calmed everyone down with the clap of her hands. “Settle down!” she chastised, “We are an honorable family here. The name was drawn, the gift is given. New people have the same chance as veteran employees.” and looked in my direction, “Come get your gift.”The lady that passed me the bucket patted me on the back. She seemed to be the only one happy that I won it. Carol mumbled, “Bullshit” as I passed, making me grin.I picked up the T.V. and hauled it to my cell. Whether it worked in the basement or not, at least I had something from my time in the slammer. Visions of comedy and entertainment dominated my. " I say.She nods."I guess." She says."Lillian, how would you like to discuss how Micah died with strangers? Better yet, how about a thousand Micahs, how would you like people to than look over your choices and judge them, what if some one decides you could of done more to protect Micah?" I say striking another blow."I never thought of it that way Idin, I am sorry" She says."Lillian the truth is, you always could of done more, in hindsight I could of done a hell of a lot more, but I didn't, and I live with that, I know that I can only do the best I can, sure I should of seen the gun as being to easy, but I had the hope it was real, so I went on, next time ill be more cautious, or I wont." I say.Lillian nods."sorry Idin." Lillian says.I am not angry with her, I am angry with myself, Sharon and Jennifer are now in the hands of animals, I have seen what they are capable of, even good people turned like that are capable of great harm.Lillian is sitting, it has been an hour of punching, I.
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